The end of the world as I know it.

It is with a heavy heart that I inform you all of the probable demise of my home computer, which stopped effectively powering on last Monday. Although the fans whir, the motherboard no longer works, as evidenced by (I think) the lack of BIOS information ordinarily displayed during the startup screen. Why it no longer works is a mystery beyond my ability to comprehend, let alone remedy, so, barring a miracle or visit from a miracle-worker, I think it's safe to assume my life is entering a sustained period which will be characterized by a lack of joy and meaning.

I now have to do my internet surfing from the office computer, with its glacial internet speeds and irritating Japanese keyboard (apostophe is shift-7, annoyingly enough). What can this possibly mean for the future of my e-mailing and blogging activities? Nothing positive, I'm afraid. Expect delays. Expect silence. And when you do hear from me, expect lamentations.

My life is already changing in unimaginable and horrific ways. For instance, I now:

• read off thin pieces of paper only, as opposed to an elegant and huge screen.
• get most my news from CNN-J, which means I have to tolerate Lou Dobbs, Anderson Cooper, and Wolf Blitzer, the last of whom reports from a location called "The Situation Room", but is really just another generic cable news studio.
• communicate with friends only in my dreams, which have been disturbing and tragic since the apparant collapse of my computer.
• question the existence of God.
• talk to myself even more. The two of us haven't been getting along very well, lately. I think all the time on our hands and pressure to be "buddy-buddy" is tearing us apart.
• can't watch any live, televised football. Why not just have me shot? Or castrated?
• live in a silent world utterly devoid of music, a world in which the only sounds are the ticking of clocks and the occasional powering on fridge and AC Unit, electric devices which presumably function solely to taunt me that they at least are capable of doing so.

So, things may be bleak for a while until I get this straightened out. In all the chaos, I haven't even had time to compute my last week's pick efforts, or think aobut week 6.

Of course, you know I'm lying about that. Last week's effort led to a highly respectable 13-3, in which I missed only the Rams, the Jags, and the Eagles. That brings me to a lofty season record of 50-24. I deserve my own TV sports program or newspaper column.

Running outta time, so here we are:

• Seattle over STL ('Hawks coming offa bye AND Rams = pretenders, albeit decent pretenders.)
• Philly over NO
• Cincy over TB
• Washington over Tenn
• Balt over Carolina
• Atl over NYG
• Dal over Hou
• Det over Buf
• Huard over Big Ben ... no wait. Reverse that. Yeah. Pit over KC
• SD over SF
• NYJ over MIA
• Chi over Ari
• DEN over OAK -- if we can stomp a little midget like we're supposed to, it'll really solidify in my mind the greatness of this Broncos team. If we let them stick around or even worse, then I'll hold off on Super Bowl reservations.

Thank you all and God Bless.