Those who know me best will attest to my stunningly profound wisdom, particularly in the area of raising children. Well, I thought of a new and loving activity that will bring parents and children closer together. After you have a son or daughter, wait a few years. Then, as soon as the little tyke's cranial plates have fully fused together into a solid skull, shave its head and take the little boy or girl to a tattoo parlor. It may cry a little, or a lot, but trust me--it will be worth it. When you're done at the parlor, tell the infant it's all over, sshhh, there there now, and don't bring the event up for 15 or 16 years. It's a huge secret. When your child has turned 18 and has completed high school, drug him or her into complete sedation and then shave the scalp again. After your child awakes, answer its burning questions with a simple hand-held mirror. Atop your progeny's head will be written in elegantly faded but permanent ink: HAPPY GRADUATION, SWEETIE! WE ARE SOOO PROUD OF YOU AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH! -- MOM AND DAD
Discuss.
4 comments:
A fine idea, but I have a question. If the message is on top of the head, how would one see it with a hand- held mirror?
Good question, Fanky! Answer: By tilting the mirror just so and angling up the line of sight through the use of the mysterious ocular muscles all humans are equipped with. The writing might appear skewed and difficult to read, but with enough foresight, one could get the original tattoo artist to compensate for this by using skewed letters and perfect cranial placement.
Or, two mirrors could be used--the handheld mirror and a ceiling-mounted mirror. If two mirrors are used, however, the tattoo text should be inked forward and not backward.
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