Shrimp Pizza: it's time, America.

Pizza in Japan is a reliable disappointment. About 99% of the time, there's all sorts of crazy, unwarranted crap on top--like eggs ... in the name of all that is sacred in this world and the next, I demand to know why anyone would desecrate a pizza by putting an egg on top. Furthermore, the "crust" is little more than a thin, partially cooked circle of flattened dough. When a slice is picked up, the limp pointed end dangles miserably from the fingertips, and all the goofy toppings slide right off. As for cheese, the pizza chefs here are quite stingy about it ... perhaps they fear its inherent deliciousness will take away from the nauseating taste effect they were going for.

Nevertheless, while foraging here in Kobe, I'll occasionally wander by a pizza restaurant and wonder if maybe this one will be the restaurant that will redeem Japan's pizza chefs and periodically provide a reliable pizza dinner for the duration of my stay. So I walk in, choke down some limp, weird pizza, and walk out, swearing never to try pizza in Japan again. I've made this vow about 9 times now.

Last time, however, I found a pizza that was head and shoulders above its Japanese competition. Don't get too excited: the crust was still limp, the cheese was sparse, and overall it was only a fraction as good as the worst pizza one could buy in America. Its saving grace was its topping: sauteed and peeled garlicky shrimp. I imagine that after throwing every possible edible and non-edible item on a pizza, the Japanese were bound to stumble on some kind of tasty topping, and garlicy shrimp is it.

Anyway, walking back to my apartment, I got to thinking: imagine how good that garlicky shrimp would taste on an American pizza, one with a sufficently-cooked crust of decent thickness and a generous amount of mozzarella. So, if you're reading this, and you know any influential personages in the pizza industry, please pass them this tip. Remember: it's little shrimp, lightly sauteed and slathered in garlic butter. It'd be really good, and a definate money-maker once it caught on.

God, I miss American food. Almost as much as I miss Mexican food. I've had plenty of decent Japanese food experiences, but those instances are the exception to the general rule. Overall, weird and menacing Japanese food is so ubiquitous, I almost feel like it's something I'm constantly trying to escape.